


Just A Dream

by Baroness_Blixen



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Alternate take, Episode: s09e19-20 The Truth, F/M, mulder and scully are allowed to be happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-06-08 19:51:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15250785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baroness_Blixen/pseuds/Baroness_Blixen
Summary: What is real? Mulder has a nightmare.





	Just A Dream

Something kicks him, connects with his arm in a painful way, and Mulder startles awake. His vision is blurry, his breathing way too fast; the remains of a nightmare cling to him and hold him captive. Relax, a silent voice inside him whispers; it sounds like Scully. He rubs his eyes to get the sleep out and wake up, take in his surroundings. She is here, as is William. Both are sleeping peacefully, unafraid of being vulnerable. Mulder lets out a long breath. He is home. The something that kicked him was his son. What a mundane, wonderful thing. His breathing is slower to catch up. Too often has he woken up on the floor, a spider or bug crawling over his skin, sand in his mouth. He licks his lips now, tastes nothing but toothpaste and the faint idea of Scully. Home, he repeats in his mind. He’s longed to be here with Scully and their son for so many months. As he watches them now, their breathing almost in sync, a cold shudder washes over him. Whether he is home in a warm bed, loved, or all alone hiding in the desert, nightmares have a way of finding him without fault.

His hand reaches out tentatively. William is fast asleep and he’s a heavy sleeper; Mulder has learned that in the last two weeks, ever since he’s been back. He is Scully’s son, through and through. The thought doesn’t bother him. After all, he’s not been here, has not been home. It’s a wonder his son accepts him at all, grins at him with outstretched arms, as if he, too, had only been waiting for him to come home. Mulder’s hand lands on the boy’s pajama-clad arm. It’s soft and warm; most of all, it’s solid, real. His fingers trace the small spaceships on the garment, a smile on his lips. Scully blushed when he asked her about it. Mumbled how she thought it was cute and how she knew he’d love it. As always, she was right. He’s dreamed about this, too, every once in a while when the nightmares gave him a time out. This time, tonight, it’s not a dream. William and Scully are here, are real. 

“Mulder?” Scully has been worried about him, has watched him like a hawk ever since he’s come home. Mulder understands. He refuses to talk about it, his time away. He wants to be here, right now, and not in the past. There are so many things to look forward to; there’s a life to be lived. He wants to get to know his son, wants to spend time with Scully and not think for once, not feel the weight of the world on his shoulders.

“Go back to sleep, Scully.” He almost adds an ‘I’m fine’, but catches it before it leaves his lips.

“Nightmare?” She asks and scoots closer. William, wedged between them, sighs in his sleep. Mulder should have known that Scully knows him too well. He nods silently even though he doubts she can see it in the darkness. Her sigh, though, so much different than William’s, tells him she understands anyway.

“Tell me about it.” They used to do this, share their nightmares like dirty secrets at a sleepover. Mulder doesn’t want his dream out of his mind, here in the sanctity of his home. He wants it to fade away into oblivion, disappear from his consciousness. It’s not real, it never was and never will be. His eyes find Scully’s face. It’s so dark in their bedroom that he can’t even be sure her eyes are open.

“I don't…”

“I know you remember it, Mulder,” her voice is warm and as soft as the cotton under Mulder’s fingers, “Tell me. Please.” He closes his eyes against his will. He doesn’t want to see it, feel it again. The emptiness.

“It was uhm… we were in a hotel room, I think. Just the two of us and I… I don’t know what we were doing there. It was raining. Pouring rain. It reminded me of our first case together. But everything else was wrong. There was mold behind the wallpaper. You couldn’t see it, not really, just feel it somehow…,” he trails off. Mulder knows that this part of the dream is part of a memory. One that doesn’t include Scully. Nights on the run were eerily similar, most of the time. Every once in a while he had a comfortable place to stay, to sleep. More often than not, he didn’t. He wrinkles his nose, remembering.

“It was just us,” Mulder repeats. “There was no-” His breath catches and he looks down at William. He’s still there, their son. A perfect blend of their physical features. Mulder hopes that his personality, his very own, will have a few of Scully’s traits, some of his, too. He can’t wait to discover who his son is in the following years. Mulder feels thankful that he gets the chance, now. “William wasn’t with us. We, in my dream, we – you – had given him up for adoption.” He hears her gasp and nods; unthinkable, impossible.

“It was just a dream,” Scully says and it sounds as if she needs to remind not only him, but herself as well. She draws William closer to her, making sure he’s here with them, that he’s still theirs. He is. The boy, fast asleep, stretches his legs in an attempt to get more comfortable. His foot kicks against Mulder again; a repeat of what woke him up in the first place. This time Mulder just smiles. He presses a kiss against William’s warm, rosy cheek. He just can’t stop himself.

“Go back to sleep, Mulder.” Scully throws his earlier words back at him. She’s closer to him now, but not close enough. She never is these days. He puts his hand on her waist, needing to feel her, needing to know she is real, too. “We’ll still be here when you wake up.” Scully is always right. So why should she be wrong about his? Mulder closes his eyes and sleep takes him by the hand, leads him to a restful place where the nightmares, at least for tonight, can’t catch him. In the morning, William and Scully are still there. The dream fades until it’s forgotten.


End file.
